Sometimes it's just like that. There are those days when your best just doesn't seem good enough. When it rains it pours kind of days. They strike you out of the blue. It's the complete randomness that makes it so potent. A sale or two may be canceled. Your vehicle breaks down. You forgot your significant others birthday...or worse your anniversary. Yikes.
Still got to get through the day though.
This morning I had a dream about my dear mom who departed this world a few years ago. So real it was. Made me miss her a great deal and that pretty much set the tone for how my morning was going to go. And then I found out that a few sales I made last week weren't going to pan out. Great huh?
But...
That's okay. Nobody but a prozac patient is happy all the time. It's okay to own the negative feelings that we all have. I recognized them and eventually made my way through them. I tuned into a few good videos that I found on the IQ Morning Report...I don't always have the luxury to tune in to the IQ Morning Report in the morning! It's a great pick me up any time of the day actually. That began to turn my day around. See I get that just because I start my day off crappy doesn't mean I have to end my day in a crappy manner. And that's my message for the day. Short and sweet. Like my wife. Who always makes me happy.
Until next time...
#YouMatterTremendously
#GoldenRuleLifeStrategy
Today's video: Here's a fella who gets it. What a powerful life philosophy he adheres to.
"Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not: Nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not: the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent."...Calvin Coolidge "Patience, persistence and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success."...Napoleon Hill Persistence succeeds where nothing else can. I'll swear by this statement. We all have seen it time and time again. That little boy who was average at best when they began a sport...but who persisted until they were a force to be reckoned with. The little girl who was told she would never be good enough at singing who went on to become a platinum selling artist. The business person or inventor who was told their vision was "crazy" or unobtainable who summarily discounted those opinions to achieve enormous success. We're all very familiar with these types of stories. I read a great meme the other day. It said: "Tired of starting over? Quit giving up." Man...how true is that? I know there are at least 500,000 things that I could have mastered had I stayed with them. Okay maybe 10...but you get the point. And we all know this beyond a shadow of a doubt. All of us have at some time or another persisted in something till we got what we wanted or achieved a goal. And the payoff that comes with doing such is incredible. The emotional payoff is what I'm talking about here. There's very little that compares to the feeling of taking on something that others say you can't or won't achieve...and then achieving it. It's like BAM!Perhaps we all need to remember those victories when we are encountered by the obstacles and setbacks that too often derail us. It's important to stay motivated. Things go wrong. Mistakes are going to be made. We just can't let these things crush our souls. Every mistake IS truly a stepping stone for another opportunity. There is, undoubtedly, a lesson...a takeaway from every experience we go through in life. Some of the strongest and wisest people I've ever known or encountered went through unbelievable adversity. Some of their stories were heart wrenching. The types of things you couldn't image experiencing. But they came through demonstrating remarkable resiliency and persistence. Persistence. That's what it takes to achieve anything worthwhile. Here's the formula: Persistence + Persistence + Persistence + Persistence + Persistence + Persistence + Persistence + Persistence + Persistence + Persistence = SUCCESS! Until next time: #YouMatterTremendously #GoldenRuleLifeStrategy Here's today's video:
Happy Independence Day! It's All About Your Freedom.
"America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves."...Abraham Lincoln
"Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same."...Ronald Reagan
Sometimes I think about my little time and space. My life as it is in the grand scheme of things. And without fail I come away happy and proud to be an American. Especially on the Fourth of July. I had a sociologist professor once...Dr. Krebs...who said that there are over 2,000 ways to be human. I always remembered that. It's so profound. So many different ways to go about the business of being human on planet Earth!
I'm pretty sure most people feel about their country exactly as I do about the United States. It's just in us to identify with great passion and affection the country and culture we grow up and reside in. I'm also sure that there are millions upon millions of people who started out in another country and culture, who eventually made their way to the United States, and fell in love with our way of life. Most have never returned to their original homeland again. Not after experiencing American freedom and prosperity.
We welcome everybody here. It's easy to understand the appeal of the United States. It's all about FREEDOM. There is nowhere on Earth that so many people have traveled to in order to escape the suffocating pressure of oppressive and often punitive governments, stagnant economies, and restricted personal liberties.
We are a nation born from a revolution that desired a level of freedom never previously experienced. Our growth and world standing developed from a shared national and cultural identity that says: "It's okay to be who you are...as long as who you are embraces and elevates our way of life." You are free to express yourself completely, in every manner of doing so. You are free to sound off on our government without having to worry about being thrown in prison or being killed. You are free to worship the religion of your choice. You are free to live a lifestyle that many may not understand...or even agree with...but at least you are free to do so. So many who have traveled here came from places where these freedoms that I just described, and which we enjoy on a daily basis, would result in a swift death sentence.
It's easy to enjoy these freedoms. But as we all know...freedom isn't free. Our country has had many internal convulsions to figure out what is in our best interest. We endured a Civil War. We saved the free world in World War 2. We've played the world police when other nations stood by idly at gross injustices performed by rogue and tyrannical governments. We have advanced civil rights. We advocate worldwide human rights. We demonstrate our compassion by extending relief and aid by the hundreds of millions of dollars annually. Our military personel sacrifice their lives and limbs to ensure our way of life and to help others who would be victimized and bullied by their very own people and governments.
True freedom is hard to come by. It's not easy to be in our position. We are opposed and criticized at every turn. There are now...more than ever...segments within our population who would love to see our way of life to crumble and be replaced with something different...anarchists abound. Be careful what you wish for is what I always think. Too many short sighted people. We have done an unbelievably great job keeping such a diverse population content to the extent that it is. I have a hard time imagining a society of our size being able to do it any better.
The convulsions will continue. But so will the American way of life. We will work out our issues. Everyone has to be all in on this. Our national identity needs to be adhered to. I would be leery of straying too far away from the ideas and philosophies that have led to the great minds and contributors that we have produced.
God Bless the U.S.A. and HAPPY 4th of JULY!!!
Until next time...
#YouMatterTremendously
#GoldenRuleLifeStrategy
Here's today's video: An amazing story of how our National Anthem came about.
"The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves."...William Penn
Haters gonna hate. You hear this expression all the time. And I guess when you hear something all the time there's a certain degree of truth to it. It does seem that people who are jealous like to rain on other peoples parades quite a bit nowadays. The most puzzling thing about it all is that it's quite unnecessary. It makes no sense to be jealous. It's destructive and very self defeating to being the best version of yourself possible.
We should take great effort to avoid being jealous or worse, resentful of other peoples good fortune. It's toxic thinking. It robs us of having an appreciation of all the things that we are in possession of and who we are. And it in no way furthers your ability to improve in any area of your life.
Most of the people who enjoy a good amount of success in life have had to earn it. Sure there are many people who were possibly born into more favorable circumstances. Perhaps their parents, or grandparents, or great grandparents...you get the picture...were the originators of the lifestyle they enjoy, but should we really hold that against them?
People get where they are, and have what they have in life because they adhere to a certain life philosophy. If your life philosophy is dominated by thinking things through and making good decisions, developing sound plans and then taking action to see those plans become reality. you can enjoy the rewards that are available to you in this world. But fair warning! Hard work, persistence, sacrifice, character, working well with other people...all these things will play a role in exactly how successful you can ultimately become.
The greatest thing we can do...instead of being jealous of other people...is learn from them. Try to emulate what they are doing, or have done, to allow them to enjoy the lifestyle we desire. We all can learn so much from other people...and I truly believe that most people who enjoy a large degree of success also like to pay it forward. There is a lot of satisfaction to be gained by them knowing that they had something to do with another persons success. Ask questions. Approach people. Be bold but not obnoxious and I think you would be surprised how many people would carve some time out of their schedule to lend someone a hand.
Avoid jealousy at all costs. Learn how to celebrate other people's victories and good fortune. It says so much about a person who is able to do so. Jealousy robs you of being secure in who you are. It diminishes your self esteem and self worth. Your better than that. You have enormous value.
Until next time...
#YouMatterTremendously
#GoldenRuleLifeStrategy
Here's another great video. It's a pretty in depth look at jealousy.
"Learn from the past, but don't live there. Build on what you know so that you don't repeat mistakes. Resolve to learn something new everyday. Because every 24 hours you have the opportunity to have the best day of (your) company's life....Harvey Mackay
Last Sunday was Father's Day and I made a post about how it was somewhat special as I live in the Greater Cleveland area and the Cleveland Cavaliers were playing for an NBA Championship. It was Game 7 between the CAVS and the Golden State Warriors and against all odds the CAVS, led by the incredible LeBron James and the young superstar Kyrie Irving, pulled off the upset and won the Championship! Let me tell you it was an amazing feeling to have a Championship team finally arrive in Cleveland! The parade that occurred a few days later in downtown Cleveland was spectacular, with an estimated 1.3 million people flooding the area to express their gratitude to the team.
This series between the CAVS and the Warriors can serve to illustrate a few important life lessons. The CAVS were down in the series 3-1 and pretty much all of the experts expected the Golden State Warriors to close out the series. After all...no team in NBA history had come back from a 3-1 deficit to win the championship.
The CAVS can be symbolic of you! Perhaps things have been tough for you for an extended period of time. Perhaps much longer than you expected. You may have sustained bruises to your ego and your self confidence may have suffered a bit. Life can be way more grueling than any sporting event can be. It can be merciless at times.
The key to surviving it all is to "keep on keeping on." Sustain the belief in yourself that you can overcome any obstacle given enough time. You just have to get through it all. Along the way if you're doing the right things; keeping a good attitude, working hard at whatever you're doing, helping others as much as you can despite your own hardships and/or limitations, then life will surely take notice. Life will introduce you to people who will help you if you allow them to. Opportunities will present them to you if you are open to them...looking for them. They may not be the opportunities or people that you were expecting. That matters little. What matters is your ability to persevere and your ability...your resolve...to see yourself through whatever it is life throws at you.
On any given day things can change for you. A conversation. A Help Wanted ad. An idea. A chance encounter. A friendship developed. A relationship blossomed. So many different things. Any given day holds the potential for the pendulum of good fortune to swing in your favor. The best day of your life could be today. Or tomorrow. Or the day after that. That is one of the most beautiful things about life.
Until next time...
#YouMatterTremendously
#GoldenRuleLifeStrategy
Here's this week's video: It's awesome. The Butterfly Effect.
"Fathers Day is hopefully a time when the culture says, 'This is our moment to look at who our men and boys are.'"...Michael Gurian
Today is Sunday June 19th, 2016. It's Father's Day, and it's also the day that Game 7 of the NBA Finals will be played between the Cleveland Cavaliers and the Golden State Warriors. Game 7 of course means that it's for all the marbles. A championship is at stake, and here in Cleveland where we haven't had a major sports championship since the Cleveland Browns won a football championship in 1964, it's a big deal. This Father's Day is something special.
Father's Day is always a day of mixed emotions for me. My dad had a lot of issues stemming from his military service, and we never got along. I'm sure he loved me, but never knew how to express it, and that was tough on me growing up. To be honest with you it's still tough on me...but more so now because I am now a father of two boys myself. That provides me with the other side of the coin. I'm very close with my sons in all regards. We have a very different father and son dynamic that what I shared with my father. I am very thankful for that.
It's tough being a father at times. You have to constantly walk a fine line between being a disciplinarian and a friend. Trying to set an example for your children requires you to wear many hats. The hat of the husband is worn when you are teaching your sons how to treat their future girlfriends and wife...by how you treat your wife...while teaching your daughters how their future boyfriends and husband should treat them. The hat of the coach is worn when teaching your children how to compete...how to give something their very best and be gracious in victory and how to handle the disappointment when they come up short. The hat of a judge is worn when you ultimately have to make tough decisions and hand out consequences so your children learn valuable life lessons that they can hopefully take with them when they are young adults.
That being said I wouldn't have it any other way. Nick & Kevin I love you guys more than words can express. It's an honor to be your father. You guys are my biggest source of pride. Watching you guys develop into fine young men is my greatest accomplishment, and that's my biggest take away from the whole dad experience. I hope when it's all said and done that you know that I tried my very best and that there's nothing I wouldn't have done for you.
Now how great would it be to cap off this Father's Day by watching the greatest basketball player in the world, LeBron James, deliver a NBA Championship here to Cleveland while I watched and rooted him on with my sons?
Happy Father's Day to everybody out there! GO CAVS!!!
"Be willing to be uncomfortable. Be comfortable being uncomfortable. It may get tough, but it's a small price to pay for living a dream."...Peter McWilliams
True growth is NEVER comfortable. It's the situations and experiences that challenge us the most that make us stronger and prepare us for the future challenges that await us. If you are to become the very best version of yourself possible you are going to have to get comfortable being uncomfortable.
It's from dealing and coping with our problems and our unique challenges that we learn how to dig deep within ourselves, find out what type of energy we are really ready to commit, that allows us to face adversity or a new challenge, that the growth comes from.
This isn't the easiest thing in the world to understand or to do. And sometimes we may have to go through the same ordeal over and over again until we finally learn the life lesson that we are supposed to. This may not happen on our timetable. But when we do finally reach that breakthrough moment we come out of it with real growth. We're stronger, smarter, and better for it.
It's a process that we just have to trust in. It's easy to remain in our comfort zones and avoid the hard work and pain that's going to be required out of us to overcome a new challenge. And sometimes when we're not "up to it" we'll defend our decision not to put forth the effort by rationalizing and making excuses. Not good. It's avoidance. And we all know it deep down inside. We can fool a lot of people...but we can never really fool ourselves.
There's always so much more room to grow in all areas of our lives. What sense does it make to remain comfortable when we're not realizing our God given potential? I believe strongle that if we're too comfortable, we're usually being too complacent. It's where stagnation breeds. It will manifest itself in some...if not all...areas of our lives...whether it be our personal or professional lives.
We only get one shot at this remarkable thing called life. Let's get the most out of it...even if that requires us being a little uncomfortable. Let's meet new people and try new things. Open our minds up to some new possibilities. And whenever we encounter a struggle of some type...understand that there's a certain degree of growth that we'll benefit by overcoming it.
Until next time...which may be a week from now! I wanted to continue posting three times per week, but I have a new opportunity in my professional life that I am trying to make the most of. With that being the case I will update this blog once a week, unless time allows me to post more frequently. For the time being.
Here's this week's video: Harlan's honesty is pretty amusing too!
"All successful empolyers are stalking men who will do the unusual, men who think, men who attract attention by performing MORE THAN IS EXPECTED OF THEM."...Charles M. Schwab I need a few new suits so it's time to visit my guy Gino. Gino is a mens fashion consultant at the department store I shop at. I'll admit that Gino has spoiled me. The last time I shopped for a couple suits was probably 2 or 3 years ago. That's when I met Gino. Gino is a pro. You want to be a pro like Gino. Gino is going to hook me up! I called this morning to make sure Gino was going to be in later in the evening when I would be able to make it across town. Unfortunately, he'll only be working until 2 this afternoon so I'm out of luck. He won't be there until Monday. That's OK. I'll wait till Monday. You see I'll wait for Monday because I know what I'm going to get from Gino. A great shopping experience! Gino has a terrific personality and made it fun last time I was in. The fact that he has impeccable taste from working in the men's department for a considerable amount of time helps also. He know what's in style. Knows how to accessorize. He's going to make me look as good as he can, and I'm going to walk out of that store happy that I shopped there. Gino likes what he does and it shows. I kept his business card last time because the moment I left that store I KNEW the next time I was going to be in need of a suit I was going to call him. I'm a faithful customer when I receive exceptional service. Want more repeat business? Provide exceptional service. Gino was happy to hear from me. I'm not 100 percent sure he remembered me...I'm sure he will when he sees me...but he appreciated me telling him that I remembered how well he took care of me and that's why I wanted to see him. I told Gino the truth. That one tends to remember professionals who provide excellent services. That should be the goal for all of us. To try and go above and beyond in whatever we are doing to earn a living. Even if it's not the ideal situation we should always strive to do the best we can. People notice. They remember. It does make a difference when you do more than is expected of you. That's a key to success. One of many that should not be overlooked. Opportunities open themselves up when you have this type of mindset and attitude. When you enjoy what you're doing, and you go that extra mile, the inevitable conclusion is that you are going to stand out from the crowd and you will be noticed. That's how you get ahead. That's how you create separation. Until next time... #YouMatterTremendously #GoldenRuleLifeStrategy Here's today's video:
"Good, better, best. Never let it rest. 'Til your good is better and your better is best!"...St. Jerome
"The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing."...Walt Disney
Sometimes you just have to go outright commando on yourself. I'm talking Navy Seal, Chuck Norris, Mike Tyson in his prime, full out ass kicking mode!
Let's face it...we all need those little bursts of intense focus to get things done. To accomplish some things that need to be done but for whatever reason...probably because there's some serious work involve...you've been avoiding. Look, we all get tired and complacent. So it's good to have sources that we can rely on to help us ramp it up a notch.
Sports has always done it for me. Right now our Cleveland Cavaliers are in the NBA Finals for the second year in a row, and for the second year in a row they face the Golden State Warriors. Now anybody that knows basketball knows what's at stake between these two teams. It's going to be an epic showdown between LeBron James and Steph Curry and their two respective teams. I'm talking one for the ages!
#AllIn216
#AllInTogether
Go CAVS!!!
Look I was tired as can be just a few moments ago! Not wanting to do this blog post! But I channeled my inner LeBron James and just went BEAST MODE!
Now I'm gonna treat whoever tunes into this page to a couple cool videos that should get you pumped up to take on something with gusto! Courtesy of me and the incomparable LeBron James!
"I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country."...Nathan Hale
"Memorial Day isn't just about honoring veterans. it's honoring those who lost their lives. Veterans had the fortune of coming home. For us, that's a reminder of when we come home we still have a responsibility to serve. It's a continuation of service that honors our country and those who fell defending it."...Pete Hegseth
"My fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country."...John F. Kennedy
They are America's best. And without a doubt it is with deep and profound appreciation and respect that we should honor the most courageous segment of our society on Memorial Day...the brave men and women who paid the ultimate price for us to savor the liberties that we so thoroughly enjoy on a daily basis.
Courage and valor. Honor and dignity. Strength and pride. There aren't enough words to describe how I feel about the people who donned an American military uniform to serve and protect our country since winning our independence from England.
I really wish I had of served. I admit that is a true regret of mine. It's not based on trying to prove that I was as brave as the next man...nothing misplaced like that at all. It's more about recognizing that I had some misplaced priorities when I was younger, and that my revised life philosophy necessitates that we are all here to serve. We are here to serve our family, our local community, and our great nation.
There is huge dissatisfaction, and a seemingly unbridgeable divide in the way us United States citizens view our own country. We have people who just can't grasp the significance of what we contribute globally to the ideas of freedom and democracy. They want to set Old Glory on fire, or lay her flat upon the ground and tread on her as if she is a useless rag. They do not understand the complete sacrifice that so many have paid in order to keep her waving proudly in the wind. All gave some...some gave all!
I am not saying that our government is perfect. But really...can you imagine another country doing a better job than we do in trying to prevent the rogue nations of the world from encroaching upon their hapless neighbors if not for having the full support of the United States and our armed services?
Truly we all owe a huge dept of gratitude to our nations veterans, and an even greater debt to the families of those who lost a veteran while serving their country. If there ever was a true and valid need for an entitlement program, then that is it. I am talking over and beyond anything available and offered so far.
I know many who will read this post have a family member...or perhaps several...who served our country and didn't make it back. It is not lost on me the pain and anguish you had/have to deal with. But it is with great sincerity that I say to you that...in this guys eyes...they are heroes of epic proportion. And that I am extremely grateful to them. Every last one regardless of ethnicity, race or gender. They represent...quite simply...the very best that America in all her splendor has had to offer. God bless our U.S military personnel and God Bless America.
"Never, ever underestimate the importance of having fun."...Randy Pausch
Sometimes you just got to have fun! There's nothing like getting together with a few friends and just enjoying each other's company. I have a few friends that, when we get together, it's guaranteed we're going to have some deep belly laughs and stories to tell at a later date.
There is no reason why, in the pursuit of everything important for a person to get ahead, that fun should be sacrificed. Work hard. Play hard. It's the best way to recharge your battery.
I received two phone calls this week from old friends. One is a friend who I just don't have a lot of contact with anymore. I tell you what. After just a few minutes of talking we fell into a few laughs reminiscing about things that we both nearly forgot. It was great. It was like we were just transported to a different space and time. With my other friend it turned out that we both had some available time this weekend so we planned to get together tomorrow. Now I can't wait. No matter what we do it's just going to be great.
Sometimes just getting on social media and sharing a few posts with friends can hit the spot. Tonight for instance my Facebook crew and I are sure to have fun posting about how our Cleveland Cavaliers are going to torch the Toronto Raptors in the Eastern Conference Finals series! Exchanging a dig here and there with my cousins up in Canada is just fun to us.
Look life is serious business. But that doesn't mean you have to be a stiff who doesn't know how to enjoy him or herself. Loosen up a bit when the opportunity is there. I always tell my boys to TCB. That stands for "Take Care of Business." If they TCB then they can have as much fun as they want. As long as nobody's getting hurt in the process. As a matter of fact my oldest son is at the Virginia Beach National Duals this weekend. Now I know for a fact he's going to put some work in. But I bet ya he's going to find more that a few ways to enjoy himself with his teammates! That makes me happy to think about.
Look I could go on...but today's message is intended to be light and easy. You know why? Because I want to go have some fun! And I encourage you to as well!
GO HAVE SOME FUN NOW!!!!
Until next time...
#YouMatter Tremendously
#GoldenRuleLifeStrategy #LiveYourLifeWithPurpose
I didn't say everybody's fun is of the same variety. These people are wild!!!
"The invariable mark of wisdom is to see the miraculous in the common."...Ralph Waldo Emerson
I posted this on my Facebook page but it really bears sharing to the entire world: "Of all the things someone could wish for you...health and happiness are BY FAR the greatest. Life is too short to fret upon most of the things we WORRY about...most of which never COME about.
We can't let the years, the chances, & important opportunities pass us by...thinking mistakenly that happiness is somewhere in the future...a destination to arrive at. Happiness is HERE! It's in the NOW! It's hearing your children's laughter. It's spending time with your family and the friends who mean the world to you. It's doing activities that you've enjoyed since you were a kid. It's the greatest gift you can...and should...give yourself. We have to be present to appreciate the moments that would otherwise elude us."
This, choosing to live in the present, IS something we have a choice in doing. I know too many people who stay firmly entrenched in the past, feeling guilty about transgressions and mistakes they made in an earlier chapter of their lives. Blaming themselves for things that occurred and that they can never go back and change. That type of emotional baggage is just too much to carry around. It serves no purpose except to weigh you down. You cannot change the past. Let it go.
Constantly worrying about the future is the ugly twin sister of living in the past. It creates needless anxiety. It robs you of the sights and sounds of the here and now that you can get pleasure from. People all to often fall into the "what if" trap. "What if this happens? What if that happens?" Running a million scenarios through their heads that usually never take place...and if they do it's usually not as bad as they thought it would be.
Happiness is such an important part of our emotional well being. I know that the entire field of psychology has opened up to the model of studying happy and well adjusted people, not just the people who have behavioral and emotional problems to deal with. I really think that's a step in the right direction. Let's become students of successful, happy people also to see what we can learn from them in order to better help people with true clinical depression. We have to know and understand both sides of the spectrum...and everything in the middle. Kudos to the modern day practitioners in the mental health field.
I am admittedly not a mental health expert. But I have enough life experience behind me to know that unconditional love, acceptance, hope, faith, perspective, gratitude, and choice all are factors which play a role in how happy one can be. And it's helped me to examine my own thoughts and utilize the advice of many who suggest trying to get the most out of life by focusing on the here and now. There are wondrous things surrounding us each and every day. We have to tune into the present to derive the most out of life. Tomorrow is simply not guaranteed. Plan and work for an awesome future, but enjoy the journey. Reflect on the past...but don't obsess about things you are unable to change.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...the courage to change the things I can...and the wisdom to know the difference.
"Discipline is the bridge between GOALS and ACCOMPLISHMENTS."...Jim Rohn
This is such an important word to grasp the complete meaning of early in life. I am absolutely convinced that you can be the most well intentioned person in the world. You can have the best idea's and dreams. You can have charisma dripping from every pore in your body. You can have creativity and imagination in abundance. You can be bursting with energy and optimism. You can have all these wonderful attributes...but without selfdiscipline you will still fall way short of your goals. The all important character trait of discipline has everything to do with a person realizing their biggest dreams. It is the creator of achievement.
Without applying discipline to our lives we tend to let things slide. A little bit here, and a little bit there. And there within lies the problem. The "little bit here" and the "little bit there" all adds up. Outside of a really horrendous life decision being made that can alter your life in an instant, a person failing to reach their personal or professional goals can usually be traced back to the moments when they "should have"...but didn't. You could be a college student, for example, who has an important exam coming up and instead of studying like you "should have," you decided to go to the big game. When you take that exam and don't do as well as you could have done there is nobody to blame except yourself. If that type of poor judgement and lack of self control is repeated throughout your academic career, this can be a problem.
There is nothing I have ever achieved that wasn't the direct result of utilizing self discipline. On the flip side most of my life's failings, with the advantage of hindsight being the great teacher that it is, were the direct result of not utilizing self discipline or self control. Having personal responsibility and accountability requires a high degree of self discipline. They go hand and hand like peanut butter and jelly.
Talk to ANY successful person about what it took for them to reach the level of success they enjoy, and you will most likely come away with a lesson on how to properly set priorities...and more importantly...see them through. They use words like sacrifice. They delayed the instant gratification that was before them many many times because they were focused on the bigger vision/goal that was lying in the distance. That takes discipline. Everybody wants to go to the big game. Not everybody does however. Some want the A+ on the exam instead. Discipline.
Being able to say NO to others is an important skill to learn. Being able to say NO to yourself is absolutely vital to your success. This was perfectly demonstrated using young children in the famous Stanford Marshmallow Test.
"Man never made any material as resilient as the human spirit."...Bernard Williams
Let's take a moment to talk about something serious. I want to lift a few people up today who may stumble across this blog and be in need of these very words. And what I'd like to blog about is strength. Personal strength. The type of personal strength that enables a person to deal with the hardest moments that life has to offer.
First of all let's lay the railroad tracks. You're stronger than you think. I'm convinced that personal strength is just inherent in our genetic makeup. The will to survive, and not only survive but thrive, is what has made us the remarkable species that we are. That and our intelligence.
Pain and suffering is a part of life. We all encounter it and it cannot be avoided. I wish I could have told my sons that their grandma and grandpa we're never going to die...and for that matter neither will their Mom and I. They found out already however, with the loss of their grandparents on my side of the family, that death is a very real part of life. The death of a beloved family member or friend, or even a beloved pet, is one of the most heart wrenching things that we as people can experience. It feels as if your heart is literally being ripped from your chest. There are no words to describe that type of emotional anguish so I'm not even going to try and attempt it.
There is the pain of being rejected. You could be in a situation where the object of your desires simply doesn't feel the same way...or that your significant other has fallen out of love with you. That is a sting that penetrates to the core as well. Plenty of songs have been written about unrequited love. Or the pain of being rejected by one's peers, or colleagues. Sometimes not fitting in can be crushing to a person. We are social animals and in my opinion the need to belong is crucial to our self worth. Especially when we are young.
I could go on and on. The pain of falling short on your goals, or your dreams and ambitions. The pain of not measuring up to either your own...or someone who you respect's expectations. A coach, a teammate, an employer. Failure can be quite painful. Disappointment sucks to be frank about it. The pain of losing a job or running into financial ruins. All real issues that cause pain for us.
Here is where we turn it around! We are remarkable beings who have the ability to overcome these painful realities. Make no mistake about that. No matter how deep the wound is, we can extract something from each and every painful life experience and grow from it...become stronger from it.
I am not saying that the pain disappears entirely...I'm not trying to fool anybody who has lost a loved one into thinking that even 20 years into the future they won't feel a certain degree of sadness. That's a basic human emotion from which you cannot escape. But we can control them and deal with them. What I am saying is that after you process the initial hurt, a change occurs. Kind of the biological equivalent of when a bone breaks and when it heals it is stronger that ever. You develop the ability to relate and help others who will undergo the same type of life experiences. You develop the compassion and empathy to guide other family members and friends through the tumultuous waters of pain and despair. You've developed a new level of emotional strength.
The cornerstone of bouncing back is FAITH. Faith in your God and faith in...yourself. It's important to cultivate a strong enough belief and value system to help you endure the most trying of times. It helps with all the coping necessary to deal. This is a type of spirituality that eludes some, where others are rich in it. I have seen unbelievable demonstrations of how having strong faith aids a person to remain rock strong. Stories from the 9/11 attacks, the Holocaust, & natural disasters like hurricane Katrina abound in where people profess that the way they have dealt with the aftermath...often painful aftermaths...comes by way of their faith.
You can bounce back. You're stronger than you think. We all are. Sometimes life just requires us to dig real deep and find the source of that strength. Find it...grab hold of it...and own it. You'll answer the question "How resilient are you?" And you'll be happy and proud of the answer. You are stronger than you think brothers and sisters. Like Les Brown always says: "When life knocks you down try to land on your back, because if you can look up, then you can get up."
***Having said that, I just want to close on this note. There are many amongst us who have life experiences so traumatic that they need professional help to overcome their pain. Long held addictions, post traumatic stress disorder situations, abusive relationships, and a number of other types of situations can cause people to become overloaded. We need to realize that these people are in need of caring professionals to help them. We should always be vigilant and concerned about them.
"One way to get the most out of life is to look at it as an adventure."...William Feather
So I go into my sons room to roust him out of bed this morning. My two sons share a room together and one is in Jr. High and one is in high school. Since that is the case, I do my youngest son the favor of letting him have uninterrupted sleep and I wake up Nicky as quietly as possible instead of having Kevin waken up by a blaring alarm clock a half hour before he needs to be.
Well as it turns out Nick was up probably a little later than he should have been, watching the NBA playoffs since our city Cleveland is in the Eastern Conference Finals and his favorite player of course in the incredible LeBron James. So I wasn't upset. But after several attempts to get him up quietly...to which he wasn't responding well to...I had to raise my "Dad" voice a wee bit to motivate him.
As he was eating breakfast he asked me why he couldn't sleep in 10 or 15 minutes more. I seized on an opportunity to discuss the importance of habits. I explained that there are good habits and bad habits, and habits are what shape the results of our lives. Getting out of bed as quick as possible is a good habit. Anybody can lay in bed for another 10-15 minutes and think about how tired they are...but is it REALLY going to help? Some would say "Hell Yes!", but to be honest it's never worked for me. It usually sets a negative tone for the day. I prefer to think of a few things I'm grateful for and a few things that might help get me excited about the day that I'm about to embark upon.
I told him that as he starts the day he should be excited! This great adventure called life could surprise him on any given day. Today could be the day that he meets his future wife! By the way, he looked at me like I was crazy when I said that. It could be the day that he meets a future business partner or that he gets an idea that could send him in the direction of his greatest dream. Anything can happen on any day.
The point is that we don't need to view each day as routine. We should be excited to see what is waiting for us as the day unfolds. As paraphrase the great Jim Rohn, its about what we can get FROM each day...not just getting THROUGH each day! If you observe young children you'll notice that within a very short time they are up and enthusiastically attacking their day! Yes. I know going to the job doesn't have the same appeal that watching cartoons does. But certainly there's some sort of challenge that you can create or objective that you can meet in your workday that can get you a little fired up. Perhaps it's just the group of people you're working with. When I was in my late 20's I worked a construction job with a few fellows who I had a ball with. The work was hard but I tell you we had a lot of laughs while I worked there and I came away with some very funny stories and memories.
Your life can be an adventure if you view it as such. It's all in your attitude. And if you're so miserable that you can barely drag yourself through the day...if you're in a situation where you absolutely can't stand who you work with or what you do...I would suggest taking action. Strong action. That type of existence and those types of feeling will absolutely kill you. I believe both literally and figuratively. Begin looking for a change. Perhaps a better employment situation. Perhaps taking the risk to becoming your own boss. Perhaps returning to school to acquire a new skill set. There are plenty of options available. Don't settle for a miserable existence. While every single day isn't going to be a pleasure cruise, certainly it doesn't have to be the type of life whereby you begin to resemble an extra on the Walking Dead show! As Robin Sharma said: "Don't live the same year 75 times and call it a life." IF you're not happy with it I would add! Remember...you live for the experience! It's not the years in your life...it's the life in your years!
"Every character is asking: 'What's my place? Why am I here?' I don't want the answer to be 'Just because.' You find your own purpose. Each finds the reasons to be here and contribute."...Sharon Creech
I'm pretty sure everybody would agree that in order to achieve anything in life you have to give forth a certain amount of effort. And it stands to reason that the more effort you put forth, the more you'll get in return. As the saying goes: "Hard work pays off." The secret sauce behind your very best effort however, is knowing what motivates you. It's knowing the answer to the question: "What is your WHY?"
Everybody has reasons behind whatever it is that they choose to do in this world. Based on everything I've learned from knowing, observing, and studying high achievers, all of them have a very clearly defined WHY behind their tremendous efforts and achievements. Having a very clearly defined and compelling reason WHY is a prerequisite to success. It will provide you with the extra motivation and desire that you need to overcome the challenges and obstacles that you are sure to encounter in pursuit of your goals.
Your WHY is usually personal and deep rooted. Often...but not always...a person's WHY originates from a place of pain. It may be that a person has hit rock bottom in a situation and they made a promise to themselves that they were going to make a substantial change. It may be stemming from a type of loss that one suffered, or that one possibly faces if strong action isn't taken. Or it could be that a person recognizes a special talent or skill that they possess, and are challenging themselves to become the all time best at something. They realize that they owe it to themselves to self optimize. Or it could be that somebody's WHY is very altruistic. The reason they do their best and give it their all is for other people. To provide for them. Once again, your reason is personal. I mean, of course you can share it with other people, but it comes from within...it's something that you don't have to justify to others. It's something that has deep meaning to you, and that you feel passionate about. It could be connected to a big dream you have.
I would advocate writing your WHY down on paper and connecting it to your goals. Don't just write it down, but review it several times a day...especially in demanding moments. This can serve as an excellent source of motivation. For example if you're a salesman you could write "I want to be the number one salesman in my district by the end of this year in order to give my family the dream vacation in Europe that they always wanted." That's something specific...it's tied to a goal...and the why is clearly stated. It's to deliver pleasure to this salesman's family. His/her WHY is stemming from something altruistic...although I'm sure the emotional payoff is pretty big for themselves also if they can pull it off. A win win situation for sure!
The very most powerful WHY's are when we have them for what we consider our life's purpose. We can find the drive within ourselves to accomplish anything we desire with a calling such as this. The life we live should have meaning, and with meaning comes deep purpose. It's impossible to separate the two. It is no small wonder that many peoples life purpose centers around serving others. To contribute to the betterment of the human condition. The "SELFLESS WHY'S." I am convinced that this is the Secret Sauce to the 10th power! If you've never given serious thought towards what your lifes purpose is...if you feel that your life has no meaning...than perhaps some serious spiritual and self inspection is necessary. We all have a purpose. Every single one of us.
"Make it a habit to tell people thank you. To express your appreciation, sincerely and without the expectation of anything in return. Truly appreciate those around you, and you'll soon find many others around you. Truly appreciate life, and you'll find that you have more of it."...Ralph Marston
I am sure with many people it comes intuitively. And I know that there are people who make sure their children are raised in such a manner that appreciation is a part of their fabric, part of their being. That's parenting done right. With many of us, however, it is something that we need to recognize and cultivate more. The art of appreciation, when mastered, can result in you becoming a new person, not just in the eyes of others but in your own self perception.
Appreciation is showing "them" you care. Showing all the people around you that they have meaning in your life. It's doing something simple like taking the time to make a special home cooked meal for your family. It's listening to your children when you're spent but they are excited about something and want to share it with you. It's taking a few minutes to rub your dog's belly. It's lending a helping hand to a neighbor when they are stuck in the driveway after a heavy Cleveland snow! Ok that one's personal...but my neighbor sure appreciated it. It's showing a customer or client you remember them with by sending a birthday, Christmas, or anniversary card, or even better by going the extra mile to help them solve a problem or achieve a goal they have. Delivering far more than they expected.
Gifts are nice! There are times when a great gift is appropriate. But everyday well intentioned gestures are rarely a matter of money. It costs you nothing to pick up the phone and call an elderly relatative or an old friend you haven't spoken with in awhile. It costs you very little to pack a picnic basket and take your significant other somewhere to spend some time with them. Somewhere with a spectacular view that they may have spoken about at an earlier time. It costs you nothing to observe that somebody is in a time of need and offer them an ear to confide in without judgement.
With some effort, and a little creativity, you can wow somebody through the art of appreciation. It's too damn easy to fall into the routine of taking everything for granted. We have a tendency to do this. Our family and friends. Our neighbors and coworkers. Our community and country. It makes sense to begin to revive the relationships around us with a renewed sense of appreciation towards them and life in general. Remember...this life we are leading is not a practice run. Love and happiness are not the types of things that you should be waiting for, but instead they are the type of things to be experienced TODAY. Right here in this present moment. And it is only with appreciation and sincere gratitude for the many many things that we're probably taking for granted on an everyday basis that allows true happiness to be felt.
Let's take a moment sometime this week to think about 2 or 3 things we can do to show some of "them" that they are appreciated. And then repeat every week with a few more of "them." The Universal Law of Reciprocity dictates that appreciation will find it's way back to you for doing so. How could it be any other way? Think about it.
"The greatest legacy one can pass on to one's children is not money or other material things accumulated in one's life, but rather a legacy of character and faith."...Billy Graham
We ALL leave a legacy behind when we exit this world. Now I know some people give deep thought to such things, while others don't, and that's alright. To each their own...like most of the things in life. I personally don't think there's anything wrong with taking a few moments, here and there, to think about the legacy we will leave behind when we move on. Have you ever thought about that? What do you wish your legacy to be?
Some of us living in this world leave a huge footprint when they pass. They impact lives to such an extent that future generations will be recalling their achievements and quoting their words. That's astounding when you think about it. With most of these people I think it is very apparent...as they are living their lives...that they will be leaving a legacy. People like Steve Jobs or Bill Gates for example. Of course Steve Jobs has passed on, but it was clear long before he passed that he was going to have a remarkable and enduring legacy because of the contributions he made in both technology and the business world.
Perhaps you have the talent, the ability and the determination to bring the gift of your uniqueness to the world and be recognized for it. If you do, you should strive with everything that's within you, to share it with mankind and leave behind the next giant footprint of your legacy. Tap into your creative imagination...tap into your resourcefulness and resolve...and see that you make it available to the world. The world will...and I am sure about this..the world will reward you for your gifts.
Most of us mere mortals, however, leave quiet legacies behind...and there's absolutely nothing wrong with this! While our legacy footprint isn't left behind in a big way, it IS indeed left behind, and we should understand that it has value. You see, you matter tremendously to someone. How we live our lives will be remembered by our children, their children, and their children's children...and how we live our lives undoubtedly impacts them as well.
Sometimes our legacies are the result of a well planned out life. A life well planned out and then executed perfectly. Some of us stumble upon our legacies, or have it thrust upon us. You never know what, outside of our own planning and control, fate has in store for us. But it can be argued that facing whatever is thrown our way in life with courage, character, honesty, and faith can...and will...affect our legacies.
Everyday we have a chance to expand our legacies by being compassionate, thoughtful and helping. We can reach out to others to lend them a helping hand when they are in need. We can teach our children how to live a good life. A life based on the timeless principle of serving others. We can leave behind a meaningful legacy that was value centered and that was focused on family, friends and community. Since we are all connected in some way, shape or form, you cannot tell me that this doesn't impact the world in a big way also...with many footprints being left behind instead of just one! What we do, and how we live, matters tremendously to the world as well...and we are all rewarded in kind.
"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever."...Mahatma Gandhi
I absolutely love this quote by Gandhi. Probably because I really enjoy learning. I consider myself fortunate in that I took to reading very early in life and fostered a true love for books. I met many people over the years who told me that they don't particularly enjoy reading. And I get it. From what I understand, there are many different ways to learn. Some people process things visually, others auditory, and yet others really need to be hands on. I think the important thing is that no matter how it is that you prefer to learn, you make sure that learning is something that you value. One never stops learning or growing if one is seriously trying to get the most out of life.
There are people who seem to be content with just doing the same thing over and over and over again in their lives. They haven't cracked open a book since high school. Or they refuse to buy and watch an instructional DVD. These people scoff at others who would invest in tickets to a seminar given by an authority of a particular subject matter. To be honest I don't know how they can do it.
Personal growth is largely predicated on one's ability to learn and grow from the lessons that we both seek out and that we experience through living. It makes perfect sense that when we have a growth mindset and look for the lesson's that every situation contains, we become better equipped for all the challenges that lie ahead. That reason in and of itself is exactly why we should constantly be seeking out knowledge. Like Jim Rohn wisely said: "Miss a meal if you have to, but don't miss a book." He also said "The book you don't read won't help.
I have to admit I didn't become a student of self development early enough in life. I wish I could say that I read the writings of the many great personal development leaders when I was a teenager, but that wasn't the case. I can assure you that if I had, I would have heeded much of the great advice that they have made available to the world and would have saved myself some heartaches along the way. Ah, live and learn they say! I would rather learn and live given the option! Think about that for a second.
As it is these are exciting times and I enjoy spreading the word and promoting the messages that the pioneers and giants of the personal develpment field have left for us. The message that our thoughts and feelings have everything to do with how we live our lives and furthermore what we get out of our lives. The message that through positive thinking and attitudes, combined with proper goal setting and planning, combined with relentless astion...YOU can live the life that you desire and thus are living life in the most satisfactory way possible...on YOUR terms!
"I take inspiration from everyone and everything. I'm inspired by current champions, former champions, true competitors, people dedicated to their dream, hard workers, dreamers, believers, achievers."...Conor McGregor
Who or what inspires you? The power behind being inspired is nothing short of miraculous. Is there any child who has grown up who hasn't had an incredible role model to be influenced by? I sincerely doubt it. There are inspirations from every arena of life. Sports, music, inventors entertainment, business, religion, the humanities, and yes...even politics.
I love that quote from Conor McGregor and can honestly say that as a child I looked at many different personalities and historical figures and was fascinated by their accomplishments. Thomas Edison, John F. Kennedy, Muhammad Ali, Elvis, Theodore Roosevelt, Dwight D. Eisenhower and so many more great achievers caught my interest. I use to go to the library and get a biography and spend hours reading about them, their origins and the journey of their lives, and ultimately the accomplishments that they made.
Now, as I've grown older, I can say that my inspiration comes from an even broader cross section of people. The hero's of everyday life inspire me tremendously. The first responders like the police or firefighters. Our incredible military personnel. The doctors and nurses who serve in all the hospitals across our great country and around the world. The people who serve others in some shape and fashion. And then there are the hard working people of our country who embrace the grind and forge ahead on an everyday basis to provide a living for their children and families. And we can never forget the people who are thrust into life and death situations who fight the battles that nobody invites into their lives, but arrive anyway...the people who heroically fight diseases.
And then there are our non human inspirations. The many different wildlife that shares this planet with us, the endless beauty of nature that surrounds us. The splendid mountains that thrust themselves up towards the heavens, the rivers, lakes and oceans, that sustain us and which we boat upon. The canyons and valleys that cross our country. It's not hard to find inspiration in almost anything that nature provides for us...if we can take just a moment to look around us and enjoy it all.
How bout yourself? You may...or may not...consider yourself a source of inspiration but that matters not. We often do not know exactly how many people...our friends, family members, coworkers, etc... have took note of the way we live our lives and the deeds we have done. I can assure you more people than you realize have YOU inspired through your life. It may have been some courage you displayed or an obstacle you overcame. It may be the humour and kindness you display...or the quiet dignity you carry yourself with.
It's ok to be inspired at any age! Dream big. Fantasize. Establish big goals that you want to achieve. Plan them out and seek out the assistance of others to help make them come true. As the always super motivational Les Brown says: "You have greatness within you!" Tap into it and it will serve to inspire others. Share yourself with the world. Ask yourself what or who inpires you? Chances are you share some of the exact same characteristics of what inpires you.
Thanks for reading this post. That inspires me right there!
"Unity is strength...when there is teamwork and collaboration, wonderful things can be achieved."...Mattie Stepanek
Sometimes we get in our own way. One of the ways in which this happens is when we stubbornly refuse to ask for help. I have been guilty of this many times, especially in my younger days, and because of this it's definitely something I'm trying to impress upon my two sons. The world is filled with people who actually want you to succeed, but it's pretty important to realize you're going to have to seek these people out...they're probably not going to stumble upon your front door tomorrow...or anytime soon.
I think we're pretty much hardwired to help each other. It feels good to help someone. There is an emotional payoff in doing so. It's great to be able to watch a person succeed and know that you played a role in it, especially when that person expresses, in some small way, that they appreciate the help.
The best way to learn how to ask for help with something is to just do it! Yep. Just like the Nike slogan. Realize that all people have been on the receiving end of someone else's help at some point or another. I found that a very straight forward approach works best: "Hey _____, I was hoping you could help me out with something. I'm trying to _____ and I know you're pretty good at it. It would mean a lot to me if I could get your opinion on it." You can word it anyway you want to...the important thing is to muster up the courage and ask for the help that you need. Don't let foolish pride or your ego get in the way of you achieving your goals.
It should be very apparent to us all that the most successful people have mastered approaching others and asking for help. This often can lead to long standing friendships and even collaborations centered around a common goal or interest. We do not live in a vacuum of space, and whatever you are interested in there are thousands, and even millions of people with the same exact interest. Living in the incredible information age that we do, with anything being accessible through the internet, you can find experts, groups, forums, books, etc...to help you seek out the guidance you need, should someone not be readily available in your local community.
Remember, the expert in anything was once a beginner. People want to help you achieve your goals and self actualize. You do not have to "go it alone". Teamwork makes the dream work. Form the habit of becoming interested in others. Note what they do for their occupation. Take note of their interests and hobbies. You would be surprised at who knows what, and at anytime in the future that genuine interest that you developed in other people can pay off should you have an obstacle or problem you need help with. You'll know who you can turn to.
In closing I'd like to point out that a "team" can be one person helping you...like a friend, family member, or mentor...someone that you're "teaming up with", or it can be a group or organization that you can join to get the help you are seeking. It all depends on what you're looking to get help with.
