Sometimes it's just like that. There are those days when your best just doesn't seem good enough. When it rains it pours kind of days. They strike you out of the blue. It's the complete randomness that makes it so potent. A sale or two may be canceled. Your vehicle breaks down. You forgot your significant others birthday...or worse your anniversary. Yikes.
Still got to get through the day though.
This morning I had a dream about my dear mom who departed this world a few years ago. So real it was. Made me miss her a great deal and that pretty much set the tone for how my morning was going to go. And then I found out that a few sales I made last week weren't going to pan out. Great huh?
But...
That's okay. Nobody but a prozac patient is happy all the time. It's okay to own the negative feelings that we all have. I recognized them and eventually made my way through them. I tuned into a few good videos that I found on the IQ Morning Report...I don't always have the luxury to tune in to the IQ Morning Report in the morning! It's a great pick me up any time of the day actually. That began to turn my day around. See I get that just because I start my day off crappy doesn't mean I have to end my day in a crappy manner. And that's my message for the day. Short and sweet. Like my wife. Who always makes me happy.
Until next time...
#YouMatterTremendously
#GoldenRuleLifeStrategy
Today's video: Here's a fella who gets it. What a powerful life philosophy he adheres to.
"The invariable mark of wisdom is to see the miraculous in the common."...Ralph Waldo Emerson
I posted this on my Facebook page but it really bears sharing to the entire world: "Of all the things someone could wish for you...health and happiness are BY FAR the greatest. Life is too short to fret upon most of the things we WORRY about...most of which never COME about.
We can't let the years, the chances, & important opportunities pass us by...thinking mistakenly that happiness is somewhere in the future...a destination to arrive at. Happiness is HERE! It's in the NOW! It's hearing your children's laughter. It's spending time with your family and the friends who mean the world to you. It's doing activities that you've enjoyed since you were a kid. It's the greatest gift you can...and should...give yourself. We have to be present to appreciate the moments that would otherwise elude us."
This, choosing to live in the present, IS something we have a choice in doing. I know too many people who stay firmly entrenched in the past, feeling guilty about transgressions and mistakes they made in an earlier chapter of their lives. Blaming themselves for things that occurred and that they can never go back and change. That type of emotional baggage is just too much to carry around. It serves no purpose except to weigh you down. You cannot change the past. Let it go.
Constantly worrying about the future is the ugly twin sister of living in the past. It creates needless anxiety. It robs you of the sights and sounds of the here and now that you can get pleasure from. People all to often fall into the "what if" trap. "What if this happens? What if that happens?" Running a million scenarios through their heads that usually never take place...and if they do it's usually not as bad as they thought it would be.
Happiness is such an important part of our emotional well being. I know that the entire field of psychology has opened up to the model of studying happy and well adjusted people, not just the people who have behavioral and emotional problems to deal with. I really think that's a step in the right direction. Let's become students of successful, happy people also to see what we can learn from them in order to better help people with true clinical depression. We have to know and understand both sides of the spectrum...and everything in the middle. Kudos to the modern day practitioners in the mental health field.
I am admittedly not a mental health expert. But I have enough life experience behind me to know that unconditional love, acceptance, hope, faith, perspective, gratitude, and choice all are factors which play a role in how happy one can be. And it's helped me to examine my own thoughts and utilize the advice of many who suggest trying to get the most out of life by focusing on the here and now. There are wondrous things surrounding us each and every day. We have to tune into the present to derive the most out of life. Tomorrow is simply not guaranteed. Plan and work for an awesome future, but enjoy the journey. Reflect on the past...but don't obsess about things you are unable to change.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...the courage to change the things I can...and the wisdom to know the difference.
"One way to get the most out of life is to look at it as an adventure."...William Feather
So I go into my sons room to roust him out of bed this morning. My two sons share a room together and one is in Jr. High and one is in high school. Since that is the case, I do my youngest son the favor of letting him have uninterrupted sleep and I wake up Nicky as quietly as possible instead of having Kevin waken up by a blaring alarm clock a half hour before he needs to be.
Well as it turns out Nick was up probably a little later than he should have been, watching the NBA playoffs since our city Cleveland is in the Eastern Conference Finals and his favorite player of course in the incredible LeBron James. So I wasn't upset. But after several attempts to get him up quietly...to which he wasn't responding well to...I had to raise my "Dad" voice a wee bit to motivate him.
As he was eating breakfast he asked me why he couldn't sleep in 10 or 15 minutes more. I seized on an opportunity to discuss the importance of habits. I explained that there are good habits and bad habits, and habits are what shape the results of our lives. Getting out of bed as quick as possible is a good habit. Anybody can lay in bed for another 10-15 minutes and think about how tired they are...but is it REALLY going to help? Some would say "Hell Yes!", but to be honest it's never worked for me. It usually sets a negative tone for the day. I prefer to think of a few things I'm grateful for and a few things that might help get me excited about the day that I'm about to embark upon.
I told him that as he starts the day he should be excited! This great adventure called life could surprise him on any given day. Today could be the day that he meets his future wife! By the way, he looked at me like I was crazy when I said that. It could be the day that he meets a future business partner or that he gets an idea that could send him in the direction of his greatest dream. Anything can happen on any day.
The point is that we don't need to view each day as routine. We should be excited to see what is waiting for us as the day unfolds. As paraphrase the great Jim Rohn, its about what we can get FROM each day...not just getting THROUGH each day! If you observe young children you'll notice that within a very short time they are up and enthusiastically attacking their day! Yes. I know going to the job doesn't have the same appeal that watching cartoons does. But certainly there's some sort of challenge that you can create or objective that you can meet in your workday that can get you a little fired up. Perhaps it's just the group of people you're working with. When I was in my late 20's I worked a construction job with a few fellows who I had a ball with. The work was hard but I tell you we had a lot of laughs while I worked there and I came away with some very funny stories and memories.
Your life can be an adventure if you view it as such. It's all in your attitude. And if you're so miserable that you can barely drag yourself through the day...if you're in a situation where you absolutely can't stand who you work with or what you do...I would suggest taking action. Strong action. That type of existence and those types of feeling will absolutely kill you. I believe both literally and figuratively. Begin looking for a change. Perhaps a better employment situation. Perhaps taking the risk to becoming your own boss. Perhaps returning to school to acquire a new skill set. There are plenty of options available. Don't settle for a miserable existence. While every single day isn't going to be a pleasure cruise, certainly it doesn't have to be the type of life whereby you begin to resemble an extra on the Walking Dead show! As Robin Sharma said: "Don't live the same year 75 times and call it a life." IF you're not happy with it I would add! Remember...you live for the experience! It's not the years in your life...it's the life in your years!
"Make it a habit to tell people thank you. To express your appreciation, sincerely and without the expectation of anything in return. Truly appreciate those around you, and you'll soon find many others around you. Truly appreciate life, and you'll find that you have more of it."...Ralph Marston
I am sure with many people it comes intuitively. And I know that there are people who make sure their children are raised in such a manner that appreciation is a part of their fabric, part of their being. That's parenting done right. With many of us, however, it is something that we need to recognize and cultivate more. The art of appreciation, when mastered, can result in you becoming a new person, not just in the eyes of others but in your own self perception.
Appreciation is showing "them" you care. Showing all the people around you that they have meaning in your life. It's doing something simple like taking the time to make a special home cooked meal for your family. It's listening to your children when you're spent but they are excited about something and want to share it with you. It's taking a few minutes to rub your dog's belly. It's lending a helping hand to a neighbor when they are stuck in the driveway after a heavy Cleveland snow! Ok that one's personal...but my neighbor sure appreciated it. It's showing a customer or client you remember them with by sending a birthday, Christmas, or anniversary card, or even better by going the extra mile to help them solve a problem or achieve a goal they have. Delivering far more than they expected.
Gifts are nice! There are times when a great gift is appropriate. But everyday well intentioned gestures are rarely a matter of money. It costs you nothing to pick up the phone and call an elderly relatative or an old friend you haven't spoken with in awhile. It costs you very little to pack a picnic basket and take your significant other somewhere to spend some time with them. Somewhere with a spectacular view that they may have spoken about at an earlier time. It costs you nothing to observe that somebody is in a time of need and offer them an ear to confide in without judgement.
With some effort, and a little creativity, you can wow somebody through the art of appreciation. It's too damn easy to fall into the routine of taking everything for granted. We have a tendency to do this. Our family and friends. Our neighbors and coworkers. Our community and country. It makes sense to begin to revive the relationships around us with a renewed sense of appreciation towards them and life in general. Remember...this life we are leading is not a practice run. Love and happiness are not the types of things that you should be waiting for, but instead they are the type of things to be experienced TODAY. Right here in this present moment. And it is only with appreciation and sincere gratitude for the many many things that we're probably taking for granted on an everyday basis that allows true happiness to be felt.
Let's take a moment sometime this week to think about 2 or 3 things we can do to show some of "them" that they are appreciated. And then repeat every week with a few more of "them." The Universal Law of Reciprocity dictates that appreciation will find it's way back to you for doing so. How could it be any other way? Think about it.
I'm an early bird. I've been that way all my life, except for those die hard party years of my early twenties that took me well into the wee hours of the morning...mostly on the weekends. Those years I pretty much partied like a rock star. Misdirected, I thought that was what life was about...sex, drugs, and rock and roll...which means I would eventually stumble into my room, wherever I was living, and sleep until at least noon...if I had the day off. There were plenty of days when I did indeed have to work on a Saturday, and well, those days were pretty rough to get through. Other than that stretch of time I've always woke up early. Just the way I'm biologically wired I guess.
I love waking up and watching the day unfold. No matter the season, the one factor that almost always makes me feel great is when the sun makes it's appearance, announcing that it's a new day to planet Earth. It's no wonder many of our early civilizations had religions that centered around sun worship! When the sun is shining we are renewed in some way. It just makes you feel great.
A bit of wisdom I ran across recently, which was made available through the always enthusiastic Darren Hardy in his newsletter, is that the sun is always shining, you just have to get above the clouds that may be blocking it's rays from reaching us. He relayed a story about how he was leaving a business trip in Seattle; the weather was kind of overcast and gloomy, but soon after departure the plane's elevation was high enough that it was above the clouds and the sunlight was beautifully visible!
I thought it was a terrific analogy to symbolize the choice we can make on how we begin and spend our days. No matter what is occurring in our lives, the irritations, the unpleasant people, the depressing local news stories, all those clouds so to speak...we can choose to rise up above them in the same way that a plane does to reach the sunshine. The sun is shining today here in Cleveland Ohio...but in all actuality it's shining everyday above the clouds!
You do not have to let the weather, or nearly anything else dictate your moods. Of course certain life events are sad. The death of a loved one for instance, or the loss of a job. Those are times when it's reasonable to feel depressed, angry, and all the other human emotions that accompany life events of that magnitude. But to live each and every day in a funk is not healthy, nor is it acceptable!
Eliminate all the negative inputs in your life! Stop listening to the depressing local news. Avoid those coworkers who are chronic complainers. Stop arguing with your significant other about the petty stuff. Stop dwelling on the flaws that we all have and you're certain to find if you're looking for them. Do the opposite! Listen to uplifting podcasts or television/radio shows. Start your day by visiting the IQ Morning report hosted by Jimmy Vaughn. Seek out the company of upbeat, enthusiastic people! Engage your significant other in a conversation centered around your appreciation for each other. Take notice of all the good qualities a person has and pay them a sincere compliment on those qualities!
Above all...LAUGH! Find the humour in things...especially yourself.
Life is too short to be unhappy. Don't sweat the small stuff...which 99% of it is! Rise above the clouds. The sun is always shining. Think about all the things in your life you undoubtedly have to be grateful for and find a way to elevate your spirits. You deserve happiness. We all do. Wholeheartedly.
