You're Stronger Than You Think
"Man never made any material as resilient as the human spirit."...Bernard Williams
Let's take a moment to talk about something serious. I want to lift a few people up today who may stumble across this blog and be in need of these very words. And what I'd like to blog about is strength. Personal strength. The type of personal strength that enables a person to deal with the hardest moments that life has to offer.
First of all let's lay the railroad tracks. You're stronger than you think. I'm convinced that personal strength is just inherent in our genetic makeup. The will to survive, and not only survive but thrive, is what has made us the remarkable species that we are. That and our intelligence.
Pain and suffering is a part of life. We all encounter it and it cannot be avoided. I wish I could have told my sons that their grandma and grandpa we're never going to die...and for that matter neither will their Mom and I. They found out already however, with the loss of their grandparents on my side of the family, that death is a very real part of life. The death of a beloved family member or friend, or even a beloved pet, is one of the most heart wrenching things that we as people can experience. It feels as if your heart is literally being ripped from your chest. There are no words to describe that type of emotional anguish so I'm not even going to try and attempt it.
There is the pain of being rejected. You could be in a situation where the object of your desires simply doesn't feel the same way...or that your significant other has fallen out of love with you. That is a sting that penetrates to the core as well. Plenty of songs have been written about unrequited love. Or the pain of being rejected by one's peers, or colleagues. Sometimes not fitting in can be crushing to a person. We are social animals and in my opinion the need to belong is crucial to our self worth. Especially when we are young.
I could go on and on. The pain of falling short on your goals, or your dreams and ambitions. The pain of not measuring up to either your own...or someone who you respect's expectations. A coach, a teammate, an employer. Failure can be quite painful. Disappointment sucks to be frank about it. The pain of losing a job or running into financial ruins. All real issues that cause pain for us.
Here is where we turn it around! We are remarkable beings who have the ability to overcome these painful realities. Make no mistake about that. No matter how deep the wound is, we can extract something from each and every painful life experience and grow from it...become stronger from it.
I am not saying that the pain disappears entirely...I'm not trying to fool anybody who has lost a loved one into thinking that even 20 years into the future they won't feel a certain degree of sadness. That's a basic human emotion from which you cannot escape. But we can control them and deal with them. What I am saying is that after you process the initial hurt, a change occurs. Kind of the biological equivalent of when a bone breaks and when it heals it is stronger that ever. You develop the ability to relate and help others who will undergo the same type of life experiences. You develop the compassion and empathy to guide other family members and friends through the tumultuous waters of pain and despair. You've developed a new level of emotional strength.
The cornerstone of bouncing back is FAITH. Faith in your God and faith in...yourself. It's important to cultivate a strong enough belief and value system to help you endure the most trying of times. It helps with all the coping necessary to deal. This is a type of spirituality that eludes some, where others are rich in it. I have seen unbelievable demonstrations of how having strong faith aids a person to remain rock strong. Stories from the 9/11 attacks, the Holocaust, & natural disasters like hurricane Katrina abound in where people profess that the way they have dealt with the aftermath...often painful aftermaths...comes by way of their faith.
You can bounce back. You're stronger than you think. We all are. Sometimes life just requires us to dig real deep and find the source of that strength. Find it...grab hold of it...and own it. You'll answer the question "How resilient are you?" And you'll be happy and proud of the answer. You are stronger than you think brothers and sisters. Like Les Brown always says: "When life knocks you down try to land on your back, because if you can look up, then you can get up."
***Having said that, I just want to close on this note. There are many amongst us who have life experiences so traumatic that they need professional help to overcome their pain. Long held addictions, post traumatic stress disorder situations, abusive relationships, and a number of other types of situations can cause people to become overloaded. We need to realize that these people are in need of caring professionals to help them. We should always be vigilant and concerned about them.
Until next time...
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