LIVING AND LEARNING THROUGH ADVERSITY
My boys are ages 17 and 14. Nick is my 17 years old and Kevin just turned 14. They mean the world to me of course. I try as much as I can...without being a complete drag...to let them know that everybody faces adversity, and that it's how we respond to adversity that ultimately defines who we are. In a nutshell my philosophy is you can either get bitter, or you can get better. Living and learning through adversity is the name of the game.
Having gone through much adversity myself I'm fairly well qualified to speak upon such things to my sons, and to write upon the subject matter here. I always keep in mind, however, that what one person may perceive as difficulties or misfortune is what another may perceive as mere inconveniences.
My mother, God bless her soul, taught me a lot on how to deal with adversity. It's really amazing how much we learn from watching our parents as we are growing up. My mom suffered a devastating stroke when she was in her early 40's and my sisters and I were teenagers. I was a freshman in high school. My mom and I were always very, very close and I remember being very scared that she was going to die. It was the first real health scare in our immediate family.
She ended up being hospitalized for close to a year...she actually had more than one stroke and had some issues with blood clotting as well...so between her initial treatment and the ensuing physical, recreational and occupational therapies it made for a very long time away from home. As you can imagine, it was tough for her and us, her family. When she finally returned home her life was changed in a huge way from the stroke. She lost complete use of her left arm and hand. She also had to wear a brace and walked with a limp as her left leg was also affected. She was always a great stay at home Mom and homemaker and didn't have a lazy bone in her body. She cooked our meals, cleaned the house, did the laundry and often was outside working as well gardening and such. She was a tough cookie and a great Mom.
Her tough Irish nature allowed her to deal with her adversity in a way that I will never forget, and has left an indelible impression on who I am today. She very well could have expected us to wait on her hand and foot...but that was not her nature. She resumed many of her household duties and did want much help with things...it was her way of proving...I am sure of this looking back...that she was far from being a figure to pity and to be viewed as weak. That was who she was. She continued being as active as possible until 20 years later when she was hit by another stroke which affected her eyesight and more cognitive functions.
But always a smile. And a laugh. And a song upon her lips. A remarkable Mother I was blessed with to learn how to deal with the setbacks that can come...sometime through no fault of your own. Her upbeat disposition is...for the most part...something I inherited from her and that I am extremely grateful for. Many times over the years I have drawn upon her example as inspiration to keep a good attitude. I have my moments...we all do...when I feel less than strong. And it's in those moments that I think about her and course correct my thinking and attitude.
I am positive that we ALL have these people in our families...and amongst our friends...who serve as a shining example on how living and learning through adversity gives us the strength and the wisdom to deal with our own unique challenges. We really need to be grateful for them and whenever possible let them know how much they are appreciated.
Until the next time...
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