Haters Gonna Hate

It Makes No Sense To Be Jealous

"The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves."...William Penn

Haters gonna hate.  You hear this expression all the time.  And I guess when you hear something all the time there's a certain degree of truth to it.  It does seem that people who are jealous like to rain on other peoples parades quite a bit nowadays.  The most puzzling thing about it all is that it's quite unnecessary.  It makes no sense to be jealous.  It's destructive and very self defeating to being the best version of yourself possible.

We should take great effort to avoid being jealous or worse, resentful of other peoples good fortune.  It's toxic thinking. It robs us of having an appreciation of all the things that we are in possession of and who we are.  And it in no way furthers your ability to improve in any area of your life.  

Most of the people who enjoy a good amount of success in life have had to earn it. Sure there are many people who were possibly born into more favorable circumstances.  Perhaps their parents, or grandparents, or great grandparents...you get the picture...were the originators of the lifestyle they enjoy, but should we really hold that against them?  

People get where they are, and have what they have in life because they adhere to a certain life philosophy.  If your life philosophy is dominated by thinking things through and making good decisions, developing sound plans and then taking action to see those plans become reality. you can enjoy the rewards that are available to you in this world.  But fair warning!  Hard work, persistence, sacrifice, character, working well with other people...all these things will play a role in exactly how successful you can ultimately become. 

The greatest thing we can do...instead of being jealous of other people...is learn from them.  Try to emulate what they are doing, or have done, to allow them to enjoy the lifestyle we desire.  We all can learn so much from other people...and I truly believe that most people who enjoy a large degree of success also like to pay it forward. There is a lot of satisfaction to be gained by them knowing that they had something to do with another persons success.  Ask questions.  Approach people. Be bold but not obnoxious and I think you would be surprised how many people would carve some time out of their schedule to lend someone a hand.

Avoid jealousy at all costs. Learn how to celebrate other people's victories and good fortune.  It says so much about a person who is able to do so. Jealousy robs you of being secure in who you are.  It diminishes your self esteem and self worth. Your better than that. You have enormous value.   

Until next time...

#YouMatterTremendously

#GoldenRuleLifeStrategy

Here's another great video.  It's a pretty in depth look at jealousy.

Father's Day Here In Cleveland

This Father's Day Is Something Special.

"Fathers Day is hopefully a time when the culture says, 'This is our moment to look at who our men and boys are.'"...Michael Gurian

Today is Sunday June 19th, 2016.  It's Father's Day, and it's also the day that Game 7 of the NBA Finals will be played between the Cleveland Cavaliers and the Golden State Warriors.  Game 7 of course means that it's for all the marbles.  A championship is at stake, and here in Cleveland where we haven't had a major sports championship since the Cleveland Browns won a football championship in 1964, it's a big deal.  This Father's Day is something special.

Father's Day is always a day of mixed emotions for me.  My dad had a lot of issues stemming from his military service, and we never got along.  I'm sure he loved me, but never knew how to express it, and that was tough on me growing up. To be honest with you it's still tough on me...but more so now because I am now a father of two boys myself.  That provides me with the other side of the coin.  I'm very close with my sons in all regards.  We have a very different father and son dynamic that what I shared with my father.  I am very thankful for that.

It's tough being a father at times. You have to constantly walk a fine line between being a disciplinarian and a friend.  Trying to set an example for your children requires you to wear many hats.  The hat of the husband is worn when you are teaching your sons how to treat their future girlfriends and wife...by how you treat your wife...while teaching your daughters how their future boyfriends and husband should treat them.  The hat of the coach is worn when teaching your children how to compete...how to give something their very best and be gracious in victory and how to handle the disappointment when they come up short. The hat of a judge is worn when you ultimately have to make tough decisions and hand out consequences so your children learn valuable life lessons that they can hopefully take with them when they are young adults.

That being said I wouldn't have it any other way.  Nick & Kevin I love you guys more than words can express.  It's an honor to be your father.  You guys are my biggest source of pride. Watching you guys develop into fine young men is my greatest accomplishment, and that's my biggest take away from the whole dad experience.  I hope when it's all said and done that you know that I tried my very best and that there's nothing I wouldn't have done for you.

Now how great would it be to cap off this Father's Day by watching the greatest basketball player in the world, LeBron James, deliver a NBA Championship here to Cleveland while I watched and rooted him on with my sons? 

Happy Father's Day to everybody out there!  GO CAVS!!!

Until next time...

#YouMatterTremendously

#GoldenRuleLifeStrategy

Here's this weeks video:

  

Kobe Bryant's Passion

KOBE'S PASSION WAS ON DISPLAY

You may not be a NBA fan...but chances are you still know who Kobe Bryant is.  His celebrity status as the super star for the Las Angeles Lakers for the past 20 years has made him a household name in the United States, and it's probably safe to say across most of the globe.

This morning as I was watching the news I learned that Kobe played his last professional game of his stellar career last night.  He scored 60 points in an incredible performance against the Utah Jazz in his career finale.  It was fitting that he would end his career in such a way.  His shots were dropping, he turned back the hands of time for a moment. and it was just a reminder of the many great performances he had throughout his long career.  Not many athletes go out on such an inspired performance.  Last night was an exceptional moment for Kobe and his fans.  Kobe's passion was on display.  Even if you're not a Kobe fan you cannot deny that he's one of the most competitive and passionate players whose ever played the game.

Passion.  How fortunate are those who develop a passion for something and develop it to the utmost of their capabilities?  Or even better, those who recognize that they can live their lives with an intense desire and enthusiasm to be the best that they can be?  

Nelson Mandela was quoted as saying, "There is no passion to be found playing small...in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living."  I love that quote.  How often do we play small out of fear of failure, or the opinions of others?  What would or could we accomplish if we acted as if it were impossible to fail? 

It takes a tremendous amount of resolve to stay the course when you've identified your passion.  Often passion correlates with your purpose in life...the thing(s) that you've identified as being most important to your very existence, and that you derive the most satisfaction from.  The things that you get fired up about when you allow your imagination to visit the possibilities that exist...when you dare to fantasize about the optimized YOU.  And it's no small coincidence that your/our purpose is often tied to serving others in some regard.  

Some people's passion...and hence their purpose..is recognized at a young age.  They hone it and develop it and master a life of remarkable achievements because of this.  The athlete's and entertainers of the world come to mind when I consider this fact. But then, on the flip side, there are many of us who need to voyage through life...experience life and it's lessons to figure out what their passions and purpose is.  That's ok.  The only people I truly feel sorry for are the people who travel through life without giving it a thought as to what their purpose and passion is.  Satisfied to trudge through their existence...this miracle that is life...without recognizing what they contribute to the universe.  Failing to recognize that no matter what their role is in society they matter tremendously to someone.

It was great waking up to the story of Kobe's finale game.  Kobe Bryant's passion was on display one final time for us.

Until the next time...

#YouMatterTremendously
#GoldenRuleLifeStrategy
#LiveYourLifeWithPurpose

Grow From Your Adversity

LIVING AND LEARNING THROUGH ADVERSITY 

My boys are ages 17 and 14.  Nick is my 17 years old and Kevin just turned 14.  They mean the world to me of course. I try as much as I can...without being a complete drag...to let them know that everybody faces adversity, and that it's how we respond to adversity that ultimately defines who we are.  In a nutshell my philosophy is you can either get bitter, or you can get better.  Living and learning through adversity is the name of the game.

Having gone through much adversity myself I'm fairly well qualified to speak upon such things to my sons, and to write upon the subject matter here.  I always keep in mind, however, that what one person may perceive as difficulties or misfortune is what another may perceive as mere inconveniences.

My mother, God bless her soul, taught me a lot on how to deal with adversity.  It's really amazing how much we learn from watching our parents as we are growing up.  My mom suffered a devastating stroke when she was in her early 40's and my sisters and I were teenagers.  I was a freshman in high school.  My mom and I were always very, very close and I remember being very scared that she was going to die.  It was the first real health scare in our immediate family.

She ended up being hospitalized for close to a year...she actually had more than one stroke and had some issues with blood clotting as well...so between her initial treatment and the ensuing physical, recreational and occupational therapies it made for a very long time away from home.  As you can imagine, it was tough for her and us, her family.  When she finally returned home her life was changed in a huge way from the stroke.  She lost complete use of her left arm and hand.  She also had to wear a brace and walked with a limp as her left leg was also affected.  She was always a great stay at home Mom and homemaker and didn't have a lazy bone in her body.  She cooked our meals, cleaned the house, did the laundry and often was outside working as well gardening and such.  She was a tough cookie and a great Mom.

Her tough Irish nature allowed her to deal with her adversity in a way that I will never forget, and has left an indelible impression on who I am today.  She very well could have expected us to wait on her hand and foot...but that was not her nature.  She resumed many of her household duties and did want much help with things...it was her way of proving...I am sure of this looking back...that she was far from being a figure to pity and to be viewed as weak.  That was who she was.  She continued being as active as possible until 20 years later when she was hit by another stroke which affected her eyesight and more cognitive functions.

But always a smile.  And a laugh.  And a song upon her lips.  A remarkable Mother I was blessed with to learn how to deal with the setbacks that can come...sometime through no fault of your own.  Her upbeat disposition is...for the most part...something I inherited from her and that I am extremely grateful for.  Many times over the years I have drawn upon her example as inspiration to keep a good attitude.  I have my moments...we all do...when I feel less than strong.  And it's in those moments that I think about her and course correct my thinking and attitude.

I am positive that we ALL have these people in our families...and amongst our friends...who serve as a shining example on how living and learning through adversity gives us the strength and the wisdom to deal with our own unique challenges.  We really need to be grateful for them and whenever possible let them know how much they are appreciated.  

Until the next time...

#YouMatterTremendously
#GoldenRuleLifeStrategy
#LiveYourLifeWithPurpose