How Resilient Are You?

You're Stronger Than You Think

"Man never made any material as resilient as the human spirit."...Bernard Williams

Let's take a moment to talk about something serious.  I want to lift a few people up today who may stumble across this blog and be in need of these very words.  And what I'd like to blog about is strength. Personal strength.  The type of personal strength that enables a person to deal with the hardest moments that life has to offer.

First of all let's lay the railroad tracks. You're stronger than you think.  I'm convinced that personal strength is just inherent in our genetic makeup.  The will to survive, and not only survive but thrive, is what has made us the remarkable species that we are. That and our intelligence. 

Pain and suffering is a part of life.  We all encounter it and it cannot be avoided.  I wish I could have told my sons that their grandma and grandpa we're never going to die...and for that matter neither will their Mom and I.  They found out already however, with the loss of their grandparents on my side of the family, that death is a very real part of life.  The death of a beloved family member or friend, or even a beloved pet, is one of the most heart wrenching things that we as people can experience.  It feels as if your heart is literally being ripped from your chest. There are no words to describe that type of emotional anguish so I'm not even going to try and attempt it.

There is the pain of being rejected.  You could be in a situation where the object of your desires simply doesn't feel the same way...or that your significant other has fallen out of love with you. That is a sting that penetrates to the core as well.  Plenty of songs have been written about unrequited love.  Or the pain of being rejected by one's peers, or colleagues. Sometimes not fitting in can be crushing to a person.  We are social animals and in my opinion the need to belong is crucial to our self worth.  Especially when we are young.

I could go on and on.  The pain of falling short on your goals, or your dreams and ambitions.  The pain of not measuring up to either your own...or someone who you respect's expectations.  A coach, a teammate, an employer.  Failure can be quite painful. Disappointment sucks to be frank about it.  The pain of losing a job or running into financial ruins.  All real issues that cause pain for us.  

Here is where we turn it around!  We are remarkable beings who have the ability to overcome these painful realities.  Make no mistake about that.  No matter how deep the wound is, we can extract something from each and every painful life experience and grow from it...become stronger from it.  

I am not saying that the pain disappears entirely...I'm not trying to fool anybody who has lost a loved one into thinking that even 20 years into the future they won't feel a certain degree of sadness. That's a basic human emotion from which you cannot escape. But we can control them and deal with them. What I am saying is that after you process the initial hurt, a change occurs.  Kind of the biological equivalent of when a bone breaks and when it heals it is stronger that ever.  You develop the ability to relate and help others who will undergo the same type of life experiences.  You develop the compassion and empathy to guide other family members and friends through the tumultuous waters of pain and despair. You've developed a new level of emotional strength.

The cornerstone of bouncing back is FAITH. Faith in your God and faith in...yourself. It's important to cultivate a strong enough belief and value system to help you endure the most trying of times. It helps with all the coping necessary to deal. This is a type of spirituality that eludes some, where others are rich in it.  I have seen unbelievable demonstrations of how having strong faith aids a person to remain rock strong.  Stories from the 9/11 attacks, the Holocaust, & natural disasters like hurricane Katrina abound in where people profess that the way they have dealt with the aftermath...often painful aftermaths...comes by way of their faith.

You can bounce back.  You're stronger than you think.  We all are. Sometimes life just requires us to dig real deep and find the source of that strength. Find it...grab hold of it...and own it.  You'll answer the question "How resilient are you?"  And you'll be happy and proud of the answer.  You are stronger than you think brothers and sisters. Like Les Brown always says: "When life knocks you down try to land on your back, because if you can look up, then you can get up."

***Having said that, I just want to close on this note.  There are many amongst us who have life experiences so traumatic that they need professional help to overcome their pain.  Long held addictions, post traumatic stress disorder situations, abusive relationships, and a number of other types of situations can cause people to become overloaded. We need to realize that these people are in need of caring professionals to help them. We should always be vigilant and concerned about them. 

Until next time...

#YouMatterTremendously

#GoldenRuleLifeStrategy
#LiveYourLifeWithPurpose

This Great Adventure Called Life

Your Life Can Be An Adventure

"One way to get the most out of life is to look at it as an adventure."...William Feather

So I go into my sons room to roust him out of bed this morning. My two sons share a room together and one is in Jr. High and one is in high school.  Since that is the case, I do my youngest son the favor of letting him have uninterrupted sleep and I wake up Nicky as quietly as possible instead of having Kevin waken up by a blaring alarm clock a half hour before he needs to be.

Well as it turns out Nick was up probably a little later than he should have been, watching the NBA playoffs since our city Cleveland is in the Eastern Conference Finals and his favorite player of course in the incredible LeBron James.  So I wasn't upset. But after several attempts to get him up quietly...to which he wasn't responding well to...I had to raise my "Dad" voice a wee bit to motivate him.

As he was eating breakfast he asked me why he couldn't sleep in 10 or 15 minutes more.  I seized on an opportunity to discuss the importance of habits.  I explained that there are good habits and bad habits, and habits are what shape the results of our lives.  Getting out of bed as quick as possible is a good habit.  Anybody can lay in bed for another 10-15 minutes and think about how tired they are...but is it REALLY going to help?  Some would say "Hell Yes!", but to be honest it's never worked for me. It usually sets a negative tone for the day. I prefer to think of a few things I'm grateful for and a few things that might help get me excited about the day that I'm about to embark upon.

I told him that as he starts the day he should be excited!  This great adventure called life could surprise him on any given day.  Today could be the day that he meets his future wife!  By the way, he looked at me like I was crazy when I said that.  It could be the day that he meets a future business partner or that he gets an idea that could send him in the direction of his greatest dream.  Anything can happen on any day.  

The point is that we don't need to view each day as routine.  We should be excited to see what is waiting for us as the day unfolds. As paraphrase the great Jim Rohn, its about what we can get FROM each day...not just getting THROUGH each day! If you observe young children you'll notice that within a very short time they are up and enthusiastically attacking their day! Yes.  I know going to the job doesn't have the same appeal that watching cartoons does.  But certainly there's some sort of challenge that you can create or objective that you can meet in your workday that can get you a little fired up.  Perhaps it's just the group of people you're working with. When I was in my late 20's I worked a construction job with a few fellows who I had a ball with.  The work was hard but I tell you we had a lot of laughs while I worked there and I came away with some very funny stories and memories.

Your life can be an adventure if you view it as such.  It's all in your attitude.  And if you're so miserable that you can barely drag yourself through the day...if you're in a situation where you absolutely can't stand who you work with or what you do...I would suggest taking action.  Strong action. That type of existence and those types of feeling will absolutely kill you.  I believe both literally and figuratively.  Begin looking for a change.  Perhaps a better employment situation.  Perhaps taking the risk to becoming your own boss.  Perhaps returning to school to acquire a new skill set.  There are plenty of options available. Don't settle for a miserable existence. While every single day isn't going to be a pleasure cruise, certainly it doesn't have to be the type of life whereby you begin to resemble an extra on the Walking Dead show! As Robin Sharma said: "Don't live the same year 75 times and call it a life."  IF you're not happy with it I would add! 

 Remember...you live for the experience!  It's not the years in your life...it's the life in your years!

Until the next time...

#YouMatterTremendously

#GoldenRuleLifeStrategy
#LiveYourLifeWithPurpose

The Secret Sauce Behind Your Effort

What Is Your Why? 

"Every character is asking: 'What's my place?  Why am I here?'  I don't want the answer to be 'Just because.'  You find your own purpose.  Each finds the reasons to be here and contribute."...Sharon Creech

I'm pretty sure everybody would agree that in order to achieve anything in life you have to give forth a certain amount of effort. And it stands to reason that the more effort you put forth, the more you'll get in return.  As the saying goes: "Hard work pays off."  The secret sauce behind your very best effort however, is knowing what motivates you.  It's knowing the answer to the question: "What is your WHY?" 

Everybody has reasons behind whatever it is that they choose to do in this world. Based on everything I've learned from knowing, observing, and studying high achievers, all of them have a very clearly defined WHY behind their tremendous efforts and achievements.  Having a very clearly defined and compelling reason WHY is a prerequisite to success.  It will provide you with the extra motivation and desire that you need to overcome the challenges and obstacles that you are sure to encounter in pursuit of your goals. 

Your WHY is usually personal and deep rooted.  Often...but not always...a person's WHY originates from a place of pain.  It may be that a person has hit rock bottom in a situation and they made a promise to themselves that they were going to make a substantial change.  It may be stemming from a type of loss that one suffered, or that one possibly faces if strong action isn't taken.  Or it could be that a person recognizes a special talent or skill that they possess, and are challenging themselves to become the all time best at something.  They realize that they owe it to themselves to self optimize.  Or it could be that somebody's WHY is very altruistic. The reason they do their best and give it their all is for other people. To provide for them.  Once again, your reason is personal. I mean, of course you can share it with other people, but it comes from within...it's something that you don't have to justify to others.  It's something that has deep meaning to you, and that you feel passionate about.  It could be connected to a big dream you have.

I would advocate writing your WHY down on paper and connecting it to your goals. Don't just write it down, but review it several times a day...especially in demanding moments.  This can serve as an excellent source of motivation.  For example if you're a salesman you could write "I want to be the number one salesman in my district by the end of this year in order to give my family the dream vacation in Europe that they always wanted." That's something specific...it's tied to a goal...and the why is clearly stated. It's to deliver pleasure to this salesman's family.  His/her WHY is stemming from something altruistic...although I'm sure the emotional payoff is pretty big for themselves also if they can pull it off.  A win win situation for sure!

The very most powerful WHY's are when we have them for what we consider our life's purpose.  We can find the drive within ourselves to accomplish anything we desire with a calling such as this. The life we live should have meaning, and with meaning comes deep purpose.  It's impossible to separate the two.  It is no small wonder that many peoples life purpose centers around serving others.  To contribute to the betterment of the human condition.  The "SELFLESS WHY'S."  I am convinced that this is the Secret Sauce to the 10th power! If you've never given serious thought towards what your lifes purpose is...if you feel that your life has no meaning...than perhaps some serious spiritual and self inspection is necessary.  We all have a purpose.  Every single one of us.

Until the next time...

#YouMatterTremendously

#GoldenRuleLifeStrategy
#LiveYourLifeWithPurpose

The Art Of Appreciation

Appreciation Is Showing Them You Care

"Make it a habit to tell people thank you. To express your appreciation, sincerely and without the expectation of anything in return.  Truly appreciate those around you, and you'll soon find many others around you.  Truly appreciate life, and you'll find that you have more of it."...Ralph Marston

I am sure with many people it comes intuitively.  And I know that there are people who make sure their children are raised in such a manner that appreciation is a part of their fabric, part of their being. That's parenting done right.  With many of us, however, it is something that we need to recognize and cultivate more.  The art of appreciation, when mastered, can result in you becoming a new person, not just in the eyes of others but in your own self perception.

Appreciation is showing "them" you care. Showing all the people around you that they have meaning in your life.  It's doing something simple like taking the time to make a special home cooked meal for your family.  It's listening to your children when you're spent but they are excited about something and want to share it with you. It's taking a few minutes to rub your dog's belly.  It's lending a helping hand to a neighbor when they are stuck in the driveway after a heavy Cleveland snow!  Ok that one's personal...but my neighbor sure appreciated it.  It's showing a customer or client you remember them with by sending a birthday, Christmas, or anniversary card, or even better by going the extra mile to help them solve a problem or achieve a goal they have. Delivering far more than they expected. 

Gifts are nice!  There are times when a great gift is appropriate.  But everyday well intentioned gestures are rarely a matter of money.  It costs you nothing to pick up the phone and call an elderly relatative or an old friend you haven't spoken with in awhile.  It costs you very little to pack a picnic basket and take your significant other somewhere to spend some time with them.  Somewhere with a spectacular view that they may have spoken about at an earlier time.  It costs you nothing to observe that somebody is in a time of need and offer them an ear to confide in without judgement.

With some effort, and a little creativity, you can wow somebody through the art of appreciation.  It's too damn easy to fall into the routine of taking everything for granted.  We have a tendency to do this. Our family and friends.  Our neighbors and coworkers.  Our community and country.  It makes sense to begin to revive the relationships around us with a renewed sense of appreciation towards them and life in general.  Remember...this life we are leading is not a practice run.  Love and happiness are not the types of things that you should be waiting for, but instead they are the type of things to be experienced TODAY.  Right here in this present moment. And it is only with appreciation and sincere gratitude for the many many things that we're probably taking for granted on an everyday basis that allows true happiness to be felt.

Let's take a moment sometime this week to think about 2 or 3 things we can do to show some of "them" that they are appreciated. And then repeat every week with a few more of "them."  The Universal Law of Reciprocity dictates that appreciation will find it's way back to you for doing so.  How could it be any other way?  Think about it.

Until next time...

#YouMatterTremendously

#GoldenRuleLifeStrategy
#LiveYourLifeWithPurpose

The Legacy We Leave Behind

What Do You Wish Your Legacy To Be?

"The greatest legacy one can pass on to one's children is not money or other material things accumulated in one's life, but rather a legacy of character and faith."...Billy Graham

We ALL leave a legacy behind when we exit this world.  Now I know some people give deep thought to such things, while others don't, and that's alright.  To each their own...like most of the things in life.  I personally don't think there's anything wrong with taking a few moments, here and there, to think about the legacy we will leave behind when we move on.  Have you ever thought about that? What do you wish your legacy to be?

Some of us living in this world leave a huge footprint when they pass. They impact lives to such an extent that future generations will be recalling their achievements and quoting their words.  That's astounding when you think about it.  With most of these people I think it is very apparent...as they are living their lives...that they will be leaving a legacy.  People like Steve Jobs or Bill Gates for example. Of course Steve Jobs has passed on, but it was clear long before he passed that he was going to have a remarkable and enduring legacy because of the contributions he made in both technology and the business world.

Perhaps you have the talent, the ability and the determination to bring the gift of your uniqueness to the world and be recognized for it.  If you do, you should strive with everything that's within you, to share it with mankind and leave behind the next giant footprint of your legacy.  Tap into your creative imagination...tap into your resourcefulness and resolve...and see that you make it available to the world. The world will...and I am sure about this..the world will reward you for your gifts. 

Most of us mere mortals, however, leave quiet legacies behind...and there's absolutely nothing wrong with this! While our legacy footprint isn't left behind in a big way, it IS indeed left behind, and we should understand that it has value.  You see, you matter tremendously to someone. How we live our lives will be remembered by our children, their children, and their children's children...and how we live our lives undoubtedly impacts them as well.  

Sometimes our legacies are the result of a well planned out life. A life well planned out and then executed perfectly. Some of us stumble upon our legacies, or have it thrust upon us.  You never know what, outside of our own planning and control, fate has in store for us.  But it can be argued that facing whatever is thrown our way in life with courage, character, honesty, and faith can...and will...affect our legacies. 

Everyday we have a chance to expand our legacies by being compassionate, thoughtful and helping.  We can reach out to others to lend them a helping hand when they are in need.  We can teach our children how to live a good life.  A life based on the timeless principle of serving others.  We can leave behind a meaningful legacy that was value centered and that was focused on family, friends and community.  Since we are all connected in some way, shape or form, you cannot tell me that this doesn't impact the world in a big way also...with many footprints being left behind instead of just one! What we do, and how we live, matters tremendously to the world as well...and we are all rewarded in kind.

Until the next time...

#YouMatterTremendously

#GoldenRuleLifeStrategy
#LiveYourLifeWithPurpose

Personal Development Never Ends

One Never Stops Learning Or Growing

"Live as if you were to die tomorrow.  Learn as if you were to live forever."...Mahatma Gandhi

I absolutely love this quote by Gandhi.  Probably because I really enjoy learning.  I consider myself fortunate in that I took to reading very early in life and fostered a true love for books.  I met many people over the years who told me that they don't particularly enjoy reading.  And I get it.  From what I understand, there are many different ways to learn.  Some people process things visually, others auditory, and yet others really need to be hands on.  I think the important thing is that no matter how it is that you prefer to learn, you make sure that learning is something that you value.  One never stops learning or growing if one is seriously trying to get the most out of life.

  

There are people who seem to be content with just doing the same thing over and over and over again in their lives.  They haven't cracked open a book since high school.  Or they refuse to buy and watch an instructional DVD.  These people scoff at others who would invest in tickets to a seminar given by an authority of a particular subject matter.  To be honest I don't know how they can do it.

Personal growth is largely predicated on one's ability to learn and grow from the lessons that we both seek out and that we experience through living.  It makes perfect sense that when we have a growth mindset and look for the lesson's that every situation contains, we become better equipped for all the challenges that lie ahead.  That reason in and of itself is exactly why we should constantly be seeking out knowledge.  Like Jim Rohn wisely said: "Miss a meal if you have to, but don't miss a book."  He also said "The book you don't read won't help. 

I have to admit I didn't become a student of self development early enough in life.  I wish I could say that I read the writings of the many great personal development leaders when I was a teenager, but that wasn't the case.  I can assure you that if I had, I would have heeded much of the great advice that they have made available to the world and would have saved myself some heartaches along the way.  Ah, live and learn they say!  I would rather learn and live given the option!  Think about that for a second.

As it is these are exciting times and I enjoy spreading the word and promoting the messages that the pioneers and giants of the personal develpment field have left for us.  The message that our thoughts and feelings have everything to do with how we live our lives and furthermore what we get out of our lives.  The message that through positive thinking and attitudes, combined with proper goal setting and planning, combined with relentless astion...YOU can live the life that you desire and thus are living life in the most satisfactory way possible...on YOUR terms! 

Until next time...

#YouMatterTremendously

#GoldenRuleLifeStrategy
#LiveYourLifeWithPurpose

What Or Who Inspires You?

The Power Behind Being Inspired

"I take inspiration from everyone and everything.  I'm inspired by current champions, former champions, true competitors, people dedicated to their dream, hard workers, dreamers, believers, achievers."...Conor McGregor

Who or what inspires you?  The power behind being inspired is nothing short of miraculous. Is there any child who has grown up who hasn't had an incredible role model to be influenced by?  I sincerely doubt it.  There are inspirations from every arena of life. Sports, music, inventors entertainment, business, religion, the humanities, and yes...even politics.

I love that quote from Conor McGregor and can honestly say that as a child I looked at many different personalities and historical figures and was fascinated by their accomplishments.  Thomas Edison, John F. Kennedy, Muhammad Ali, Elvis, Theodore Roosevelt, Dwight D. Eisenhower and so many more great achievers caught my interest. I use to go to the library and get a biography and spend hours reading about them, their origins and the journey of their lives, and ultimately the accomplishments that they made.

Now, as I've grown older, I can say that my inspiration comes from an even broader cross section of people.  The hero's of everyday life inspire me tremendously.  The first responders like the police or firefighters.  Our incredible military personnel.  The doctors and nurses who serve in all the hospitals across our great country and around the world.  The people who serve others in some shape and fashion.  And then there are the hard working people of our country who embrace the grind and forge ahead on an everyday basis to provide a living for their children and families.  And we can never forget the people who are thrust into life and death situations who fight the battles that nobody invites into their lives, but arrive anyway...the people who heroically fight diseases.

And then there are our non human inspirations.  The many different wildlife that shares this planet with us, the endless beauty of nature that surrounds us.  The splendid mountains that thrust themselves up towards the heavens, the rivers, lakes and oceans, that sustain us and which we boat upon.  The canyons and valleys that cross our country.  It's not hard to find inspiration in almost anything that nature provides for us...if we can take just a moment to look around us and enjoy it all.

How bout yourself?  You may...or may not...consider yourself a source of inspiration but that matters not.  We often do not know exactly how many people...our friends, family members, coworkers, etc... have took note of the way we live our lives and the deeds we have done.  I can assure you more people than you realize have YOU  inspired through your life.  It may have been some courage you displayed or an obstacle you overcame.  It may be the humour and kindness you display...or the quiet dignity you carry yourself with. 

It's ok to be inspired at any age!  Dream big.  Fantasize.  Establish big goals that you want to achieve.  Plan them out and seek out the assistance of others to help make them come true.  As the always super motivational Les Brown says: "You have greatness within you!"  Tap into it and it will serve to inspire others.  Share yourself with the world.  Ask yourself what or who inpires you?  Chances are you share some of the exact same characteristics of what inpires you.

Thanks for reading this post.  That inspires me right there!

Until the next time...

#YouMatterTremendously

#GoldenRuleLifeStrategy
#LiveYourLifeWithPurpose